The lalaland of math

I am beginning to think that mathematicians are idealists. Perhaps that was why I liked math so much because math was so certain and idealistic. Math was like my refuge because I can be certain of what is true and what is false. Math could not lie to me but human beings are difficult to discern whether they are authentic or not. There is nothing wrong about being ideal but perhaps the issue comes when one is too extreme about living in their own shell.

Mathematicians also like to find patterns, make generalizations and try to prove their claims. But we must be careful to be sensitive if we try to generalize and categorize the nature of human beings so that we do not discriminate people.

I like to encourage that we should follow your passion wholeheartedly, like how I followed math because I liked it. But sometimes reality/societal perspection/era does not permit us to do so. There were also always opposing advocates who claim that the heart is deceitful and we should not follow it. Following your dreams is good but you still have to check for the overall goodness and consequences on the people around you and others. Loving one another is the better powerful principle.

Perhaps following your heart too extremely may not be wise and good. Being too specialized in mathematics has driven me to further dwell and think deeply in analysis on individual components. This closes my mind to view a ‘bigger’ picture and limits me in broadening, socialising and expressing myself in a more relatable manner to the diverse nature of society. As I chose to follow, like, be passionate and embrace the things of myself wholeheartedly, I find myself closing up to the diversity of nature. I find myself assuming that everyone could think like I do. I found it hard to take perspective in others’ point of view.

So is it better to specialize or be holistic? to follow my heart? I think we have to be balanced and yet be FULL of both. Confused…

I pick up (or create) habits and skills that I relate to or find useful for my growth and expression from a community. Plugging myself into a community? vs being alone. People can stay together because they plug themselves in? The wisdom to discern the right friends to commune with? Why do I find it so difficult to plug myself into a community? because I analyse every community too much? As I pursued math, did I distance myself away from community? As I pursue God with my own mental analysis and experiences, did I forgo the joy of being in a community in supporting one another to find God? Well…I have to say that I think most communities are a mess. But I am not saying that communities are not able to grow in their mess.

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